Is There Such A Thing As "Too Soft" Toilet Paper?

Toilet paper is one of those things where you should pay the extra money for the higher quality. Some things don’t really matter. There’s a ton of other toiletries and cleaning products and household items where you can buy the generic brand, save some money, and not notice any difference. But TP is not one of those things. If you skimp on your TP you are a poor person, straight up. If you’re wiping your ass with tissue paper that should be used in a gift bag, you have no self respect. Spend the extra 70 cents so you’re not using sand paper on your unmentionables.

But all that being said, do you think there’s a limit? I used some Charming Ultra Soft today and I’ll be honest I felt like I was using a goddam t shirt. I felt like I was wiping with a piece of cloth. For a split second I contemplated whether I could even flush it. I was like “should I throw this in the garbage? Should I throw it in the washing machine? This shit was so thick I wondered if it was goddam reusable. Plus the bathroom was all steamy from my wife showering earlier in the morning and the ultra soft felt like it was almost wet. I dunno man I don’t need my TP to be on that level. I don’t need a roll of like 1,000 count Egyptian Cotton. I’m just gonna rub my butt with it. Plus that whole “its more absorbent so you’ll use less!” thing is such a hoax. I’m triple and quadruple wiping, minimum, every time. Whether I’m using the knock off brand or the ultra luxurious kind.
So I think I’m on board with high quality TP but nothing ridiculous. I don’t need a roll of felt to clean up. Middle of the road TP for this guy and his ass. Is anybody else on board here or is this weird? Does everyone else just want as much luxury as possible? I feel like there’s a limit to almost everything and toilet paper isnt any different.

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